I'm not sure how I'm feeling today. The kids and I ventured out to WalMart and although I feel normal, I tend to think everyone is staring at me. Johnny says it's my imagination, not to worry about it. Then I'll catch my reflection in the mirror and get a little sad, thinking, this is not me. Who is that person with a wig on? I feel like it's obviously fake hair, and who am I fooling. I'm totally petrified of going out in the wind, for fear of my wig blowing off! And can you imagine if a bird came along and thought it was a nest and landed on my head?! OMG!! I was talking w/Jeff earlier and he started laughing, saying, "What the heck? Did you worry about birds landing in your hair before? Why worry now!" I guess that's not what I really fear, but like usual, I say silly things sometimes just to lighten the mood.
As for how I'm feeling deep down...I wish I could just stay indoors forever. I'm worried about going to work tomorrow. I'm trying to deal with it, but it's really hard. My family (other than John and the kids) have yet to see me. Although I know they'll embrace me and love me no matter what I look like, it still saddens me that my looks have changed. It's real now.
Sorry, nothing inspirational to write this time. I'm having a "moment" and this too shall pass. I'm still thinking positive, I still believe, but the rest of the day is for my pity party. I guess I'm entitled to one day :(
Peace to you all ♥ Genie
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