Support Group + Other Stuff...

Last night I was invited by two new friends, Tina & Sonia, to join their support group. I didn't really know what to expect, but I was open to anything. We met @ Tina's house and walked over together (which really broke the ice and made me feel much more comfortable). I met Tina & Sonia in October at a special Breast Cancer Awareness breakfast and since so much had gone on since then, it gave us a moment to regroup (just the three of us). Both Tina & Sonia have had similar journeys and so they were basically going last night to support me in particular. Tina just had reconstructive surgery and Sonia has been cancer free for many years. This group welcomed me with open arms. I met a variety of women who all had different stories, yet very similar at the same time. They all received the dreaded phone call and all had to deal with breast cancer in one way or another. It's my turn now. We all went around the room and shared our "story". This was the first time that I'd openly cried while telling mine. I think it was because it has become just a "story" as I tell it to people who are healthy and their reaction is sympathy. However, last night as I was telling this, I could see it in the other survivor's eyes that they understood what I was saying and truly felt it. They truly felt empathy for me and showed me that they cared. I was able to ask questions and gained lots of knowledge about stuff I had no idea that I should be asking. I was so overwhelmed that I had forgotten to take notes and I even brought my notepad!! At one point in the evening Tina cracked me up and told me to "come back Genie", because the chemo made me TOTALLY lose my train of thought...lol. It's gotten bad and I'm trying really hard to write things down and remember everything. Don't they say your memory goes first?! Dang!!

Anyway, I had a wonderful time and I want to thank Tina & Sonia for the invite. I'm looking forward to next month's meeting. Naturally I volunteered John's restaurant for the meeting place :) I know my husband supports me 100%, so he had no problem with the idea. Besides, there's always tons of room at the Old Spaghetti Factory. There John, I plugged your restaurant :)

I also want to quickly state that I went to my Christmas Luncheon today with work. Remember how nervous I was about walking in there with a wig? It was no big deal. Sure, I didn't want to parade around, but I went. I know that the more I go out in public in my wig, the better I'll feel. I think that if I feel natural, it'll look more natural, and people won't suspect anything. Besides, it looks pretty real, so that's a huge plus.

And lastly, I went to treatment #4 today and used my new port. I'm sure glad I had it put in last week and not just a couple days before treatment like the nurse originally requested. That would have hurt. As it was, Robert (my nurse for today) used some freezing spray before inserting the needle to numb it up a little. Good idea, cuz it still slightly stung. He did mention, however, that my blood pressure has been progressively increasing (probably due to the Avastin) since I'd never experienced high blood pressure in my life. He said that they're going to monitor this and may have to put me on medication. YAY, more meds, but that's okay. As long as it's treated.

Oops, I almost forgot to share some HUGE, HUGE news. I had my follow up oncology appointment yesterday. Dr. Hui walked in and asked if I was in any pain, I said no, not that much at all. She said, "no, I mean serious pain" and I said no. She was SO RELIEVED. She said that she had worried about me because one of the side affects of the Avastin is bleeding & clotting and that if I was experiencing pain, that could mean that I was bleeding. She also was concerned about the port being inserted for the same reasons. I said no again, didn't have an issue. She was so happy, I could see it all over her face. Then I explained how I could actually feel my tumor shrinking and so she examined me and thought maybe it had indeed gone down a little. Her main concern seemed to be my lymph nodes under my arm. She looked at me and asked, "did I find it here?" and both Monica and I looked at each other and said, "yes, you did" and she said, "well I can't find it now". I was SO EXCITED, I could hardly sit still. She ended the short visit by telling me that I was too nice of a person to go anytime soon and to continue to pray, because it was working for me. That I'll see her again in 4 weeks. YAYYYYY!!

Tonight, I'm GRATEFUL for all the people who are praying for me, for the meds that are working, for my wonderful family who loves me unconditionally, and for all of my friends who are constantly checking on me. Thank you everyone!!

Peace to you all. Genie