Passing Over...

I'm adjusting well to radiation and I have 4 more treatments until I'm done. I can't wait to get started back on chemo, because it scares me to think that the cancer might be growing during these few weeks without it. There's a new pain that started yesterday and it's located in my chest. I know there's cancer behind my chest plate, so I'm assuming that it's probably the cause of this pain, but I'm not sure. If it continues I will contact Dr. Hui. Otherwise, we meet again on 3/07 for my next appointment and I'll inform her then. At that time I'd like to get a copy of my bone scan and I'll be able to see whether the cancer has grown in my chest or not. Gee...if it's not one thing, it's another, right?! This new pain feels like somebody is sitting on my chest and I'd like them to get off!! I've been applying heat, but other than just taking pain meds, I don't know what else to do. Hopefully it'll leave just as quickly as it came.

My cousin Linda sent me some wonderful books and I haven't been able to tear myself away from the first one, it's about the afterlife. I believe I'm a pretty spiritual person and if what this book is saying is true, heck, you're not getting rid of me very easily! This book is saying that we don't actually die when we leave this earth, but rather take on another journey of life. A non-physical one. I'm not scared to die, I just don't want to leave my family and friends, for I don't want anyone to be sad. I'm most concerned about my children and John. The kids are pretty resilient and will eventually be fine, however, losing your mom at a young age is so hard, I just don't want to cause them pain. And as for John...he's my best friend, my love. I will hope that he finds love again and remarries, for he's young enough to continue on with somebody who will treat him the way he deserves to be treated. As long as this person takes GOOD care of my family, I won't be "haunting" them :) Otherwise, they'd better watch out....LOL.

I sure hope I didn't freak anyone out because I was talking about passing over. I'm not trying to do that. Please understand that I blog about what's on my mind, nothing else. It's going to happen eventually and I'd like to be prepared as much as possible. I haven't started on the video yet because the kids have been out of school and my plan was to tape while they weren't around. Their vacation is over after today, so I should be able to start on the video taping this coming week.

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie