A Couple Things...

Yesterday was an important day and I blew it :( My good friend Sonia was out of town and asked two survivors (Allison & myself) to go represent her and accept an award on her behalf at a fancy dinner downtown. We're all apart of the RAC-PAC and our team did outstanding in the walk and collected a HUGE amount of donations so they wanted to thank Sonia for her and her team's hard work. Well, I went home from work a little early to take a nap because the pain in my back was starting up again. I emailed Allison to give her a heads up and she told me to let her know when I woke up. I set my alarm for 3:30 p.m., but woke up at 4:30 p.m.!!! The dinner started at 5:00 p.m. sharp. It was too late to get ready and rush down to the award dinner :( I called Allison and apologized, and she seemed to understand, but I still feel like I let her and Sonia down :( I know that they probably realize what I'm going through, but it still felt really awful to flake on my two good friends. Maybe we can all get together soon and make up for it :) I had even purchased a new blouse to wear, maybe I can wear it when we meet up again!!

Today I met with Dr. Hui and she wanted to talk about my pain that I've been experiencing lately. She said that it may be from my new chemo, but that we probably need to do another cycle or two to see for sure. She said the the results from the tumor marker wasn't back yet, so she couldn't check on that. She asked me if I wanted to do radiation, and I said that it was hard for me to pinpoint the exact spot that the pain is coming from, but I pointed to my lower back and hips. She said that she could look at my bone scan (x-ray) and see if she could figure it out and sure enough there were some hot spots around my tailbone area that she figured we could zap with radiation to alleviate some of the pain that I've been experiencing. She put in a referral and I'm sure I will be hearing from Radiology soon. At that time, my chemo will temporarily stop and I'll start radiation. After my appointment, my chemo immediately followed and as if God knew I needed her, nurse Mary was my nurse today and we went to the West Wing (which is a very small room) which happened to be empty other than us two. I asked her all about radiation and she gave me some wonderful tips, like that I should definitely use pains med before my appointment because I'll have to lay very still on a flat surface for a long time the first visit. This visit they will use wedges and lay me in a certain position to get exactly to the tumors. I asked if I would be laying on my stomach or not, since it's in my back and Mary wasn't sure. The only thing that scares me right now is that I fear the cancer will grown during the period in which I will not have chemotherapy. I know that I'm in God's hands and I have faith in the medical staff and that they're doing everything possible to save me, but fear is such a natural thing and I need to try and relax.

Today I have FAITH that God will help ease the pain and teach me to relax a bit more.

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie