Dreams...

I didn't sleep well last night after blogging, I wasn't sure if I'd made the right decision about sharing my dirty little secret with the world. I even had one of "those" dreams. For many years I would have dreams of using, waking up in a cold sweat, questioning my sobriety although I knew I'd never touched the stuff. The dreams are so real I could almost smell and taste the nasty CRAP I used to crave. I truly believe that I am supposed to dream about it occasionally so that I never forget where I came from, so that I never go back. God has helped me over the years with staying on the right path, never relapsing, never having cravings. I owe it all to Him, for alone I am not as strong of a person to handle such demons.

Last night right before blogging I told both my children. We had scratched the surface when Johnny was about 11 or 12, but was told afterwards by a therapist that it was a horrible mistake to ever tell a young child, for it may forever ruin the relationship of the parent/child. So, we pretended that it never happened, but Johnny told me that he remembered me telling him. We discussed it in further detail and it ended up being very therapeutic for both of us. Jordan, on the other hand took it a bit differently. She never knew anything about it and after many tears and lots of questions, she was okay. She did have a couple things to say which I thought was pretty profound. She told me that the feeling that she liked most was the feeling of self control. She also said that there was no way she would ever do drugs because she heard that it killed your brain cells and there was no way she was about to lose any of HER brain cells! Thank God I have such wonderful children. This story could have had such a different ending and yet (as a family) we pulled it together and turned things around. I'm proud of us :)

Peace to you all ~ Love, Genie

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Location:Willow Rock Way,Sacramento,United States