Cancer Has Spread...

WARNING ~ this may be a long one.

I've stopped crying and now it's time to move forward. A couple days ago I emailed Dr. Hui and told her about my hip, so she ordered xrays and was glad to tell me that there was nothing broken, but that she would still like for me to have another bone scan done to see how everything was going. Today I went for my bone scan and she called in the afternoon with my results. I could tell in her voice that she didn't want to deliver this news to me, but she was obligated. The cancer has spread. I asked her how bad it was and after hesitating a moment, she said that it had spread to my pelvis and my hip, that it was no wonder I was in so much pain. She wants me to go back to radiation (starting Monday) for another two weeks. She said that afterwards, we would reevaluate my situation and start a new chemotherapy treatment. She knows how bad my body reacted to radiation the last time, and that I've barely recovered from the nausea and vomiting! It's only been about two weeks of me being vomit free and now I've got to go back to that place?! OMG!! Please Lord help me through the next couple weeks, I need your help!!

During all of this, my sweet Jordan has been going through depression. She's obviously carrying a lot on her shoulders these days and the counselor at school thought that perhaps she should see somebody. John and I took her for a family session yesterday, but she will start her one on one appointments with a child psychiatrist on Tuesday. Poor sweetheart, I wish I could ease her pain. She's not only dealing with a parent who has cancer, but she's a perfectionist and if everything doesn't go exactly right, she has a hard time dealing with it. Life is sort of upside down with her lately and so my heart really goes out to her.

Jordan's favorite show in the world is Glee and she eats, breaths and sleeps Glee. I don't mind, because it's obviously making her happy. Well, the cast of the tv show is coming to Arco Arena (here in Sacramento) in May. I know how much she would LOVE to see them in person, so we were planning on purchasing her a ticket for her birthday, but the tickets don't go on sale for another week or so. However, tonight I got a text from Sonia that they were selling advanced tickets to American Express holders starting today! Well, thanks to my wonderful friend for helping me out (since I don't have one of those cards), we were able to purchase tickets!! This is the only reason I'm not crying right now, because I'm so excited for Jordan.

Please continue to pray for me, I know your prayers help. I appreciate all of the prayer chains that I'm on and I know that the Lord is listening.

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie

Sore Hip...

For a little over a week now I've been struggling with sore hips. Isn't that weird? First it was my right hip and it only lasted a couple days. Really sore, but I was able to walk w/a limp. I happened to have an appointment w/Dr. Hui and mentioned it to her, she looked at my last bone scan and didn't see any cancer in the general area and so she said that we'd just keep an eye on it. Within a couple days it had switched to my other hip! Now it's so excruciating that I can't bare any weight on it at all. Jordan had some left over crutches from a couple years ago, but they're too short. I just manage to limp along and slide my leg if I'm able to. It's so awful that I've almost fallen a couple times because of the shock of getting out of bed and putting weight on it or if I stand up wrong. It's now been about four days and I'm so scared of it being cancer that I haven't mentioned it to Dr. Hui. I'm also afraid she's going to think I'm crazy, since the last time we spoke it was in the other hip.

All I can think to say at this point is to please pray for me. The power of prayer is incredible and I sure could use some miracles right now :)

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie

Nat Mandell Memorial Award...

Two blogs in one day?! What? I know, I know, but I've got more to say that I've been forgetting to share with you. After spending a great day with Sonia on Friday during Chemo, I realized that we were talking non-stop and still hardly had enough time to catch up! I shared this story with her and she agreed that although it's a little late, it's never too late when you're bragging about your kids :)

At the end of November I didn't attend Johnny's football awards ceremony, for I was sicker than a dog that night and just wanted to stay home. Besides, he only played in two games thanks to his dislocated shoulder this season, and I felt that it would be okay to pass this time around. We expected the usual certificate of participation to hang on the wall with the others. John called on his way home to pick up something for dinner and mentioned that he got his certificate and that they'd be home soon. When they walked in the door, John had a grin on his face and said, "Okay, I lied. He got an award. THE award." I didn't understand what he meant at first until I saw it, it was the Nat Mandell Memorial Award.

Approximately ten years ago Nat Mandell was the quarterback for Mira Loma and an all around great guy. Apparently he was loved by many. Tragically, he was killed in a car accident shortly after graduation by a drunk driver. His parents were always involved in his football career and it didn't stop after the passing of Nat. Each year his father shows a video of Nat during the awards ceremony and then after much anticipation, hands over a beautiful award to the most deserving player of the year. A replicate award also stays at the school in their "hall of fame" to honor the player. Johnny was about as shocked to receive this award as we were, but then again, he's a great kid, on and off the field. After he got home and opened up the card that accompanied the award, it came with another shock. The card mentioned that not only did Johnny deserve great recognition for a job well done, but that Nat would always have his back from this point on. It also came with $300 inside :) For a teenager, it was like hitting the lotto!! Way to go Johnny, we're so proud of you. This award will always mean more than any other to us, just knowing that we have such an honorable son who is respectful on and off the field is all a parent can ask for.

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie

Hairspray...

Although Jordan's birthday isn't for a few weeks, she's been wanting to attend a musical and so I took her and two friends to see Hairspray at the local theatre here in town yesterday. It was so much fun. I'm glad I was able to take her and experience it with her, there's nothing like live entertainment. Although it varied somewhat from the dvd, it was still very funny and most of all, the girls had a great time. At one point I had to "hush" them because they got to giggling (like teenage girls do), which reminded me of a story in which I told Jordan on the way home...

Luanne and I were in high school watching a musical in our school auditorium and since my brother Jeff was in the band, I guess I thought it gave me the right to act anyway I wanted to. Well, after laughing, and chatting, and just being plain obnoxious, a gentleman turned around in his seat and with quite an angry tone, belted out "HUSH! Can't you girls keep it down?! You're being very disrespectful!" and with that he turned around. Of course that didn't really stop us, but instead we made silly faces and continued to be rude. After the performance we walked down to meet up with my parents and Jeff who wanted to introduce us to his new girlfriend and her family. OMG if it wasn't the same couple that scolded us!! It was so embarrassing, I'll never forget it. Years later, we met up again when Mr. Shaefer started regularly attending Coco's every morning and by this time we got along just fine. The funny thing was that whenever he'd walk in, the first thing he would do was to put a finger to his lips and say, "hush!" to me :) I miss those days.

Those were fun times!!

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie

Momma Bear Worries Too Much...

Today was Johnny's first day of actual work at the Old Spaghetti Factory. He trains today and one other day, not sure when. I'm a nervous wreck right now because he left the house at 3:00 for his 3:30 shift and he's still not home (and it's 9:57). Okay, okay, I'm a momma bear and I worry too much, but still...he's my baby. I don't want to call him because if he's driving, he can't pick up the phone (against the law at his age to be on a cell phone & driving) and I would hate for him to have to pull over to talk w/me. I worry too much. I hope he had a wonderful first day and that he really enjoyed himself. He's so shy sometimes, that I wonder how he'll do mingling with the other employees. I hope he comes out of his shell and truly enjoys his time there.

For those wondering, no, John didn't get him the job, he had to apply and go through the steps all by himself. He doesn't work at the same location as John, it's against the rules and besides, it wouldn't be fun to always have your dad watching over you.

Okay, you can come home anytime now Johnny :) He asked me the other day how many paychecks it would take to buy a car, so he's definitely motivated to earn some money.

I'm going to stall and keep this post open until I hear the garage door go up...

Okay I cheated and called John who secretly called over to his restaurant to make sure that he was still there. I feel better now. I will sit back and patiently wait for him to get home. Gosh it's tough being a parent sometimes! You love 'em tooooo much!!

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie

Numbers are Down...

I just came from Dr. Hui's office and I have some good news, my numbers are down! Recently, they'd gone from the 60's, to the 70's, to 142. Today my cancer count was at 84!! That was so exciting, I nearly jumped off the table. She said that we don't need to do scans for awhile because she already knows that my numbers are going down and that it was unnecessary to do them right now. She also was happy to hear that my vomiting had decreased a lot and that it was almost under control. She didn't really have any more advice on that subject, just to keep doing what I was doing.

I think I forgot to mention that on my last visit I asked about surgery once again and she said that they won't be doing any surgery on me, that at this stage in the game they felt it was unnecessary. I don't know how that made me feel, but at least now I know for sure that it's not going to happen.

Monica came to chemo today and it was so good to see her. My chemo is only an hour now and so she got there right at the very end of my treatment, so we went to lunch and caught up. I sure love her, and it's been a long time since we've seen each other. Way too long!!

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie

Catching Up...

I'm still dealing with my stomach issue, unfortunately. I've recently posted on facebook that I've had a couple great days of keeping my meals down...but that was short-lived. I almost feel as though I've been binging and purging (which I would NEVER do in my wildest dreams!). I get so excited to eat something (hoping to keep it down), but sure enough, a couple hours later it usually comes up. I've tried to analyze whether I'm eating too much at a time, whether or not it's too spicy, etc., but it's really none of the above. So....I go see Dr. Hui this Friday and I'm sure she'll have something to say about the matter. On one hand I want her to order scans to see what is happening inside of me, on the other hand, I can't even fathom drinking the liquid that I have to drink in order to do the CT Scan so I'd rather not. My gag reflex is SO INTENSE right now that just thinking about it, makes me want to vomit. Problems, problems.

Oh, and by the way, I've got this weird pattern on my back now from radiation and small blisters along with it. Rolling over at night sometimes pops the blisters and then it's kind of messy. Yay, just another thing to deal with :)

Well, I'm headed into the shower to try and get in to work today. It'll be the first day back in one month. I hope I don't throw up at work, that would suck.

I hope you all have a wonderful day!!

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie