Panic Attack...

Monday morning John was in Redwood City helping interview for the opening of a new Old Spaghetti Factory, Jordan was at school, and Johnny was getting ready to head out to school. All of a sudden I started to feel really weird, my breathing was shallow, and I began to freak out. I guess I was experiencing a Panic Attack. Johnny got in touch with Frank and Monica and they rushed me down to the Emergency Room. I figure if I'm not there at least once every two or three weeks, there's something the matter...JUST KIDDING!! As soon as I checked in, they registered me and got me right in. They wanted to check my heart and lungs to see if in fact it was just a Panic Attack, or if there was something else going on. So, they started with an EKG and that was fine. Then, they x-rayed my lungs to find no abnormalities there either. Next, they scanned my lungs in case there was a blood clot, but there wasn't. Then, they did a blood draw and saw that my labs were about the same as last week and determined that they wanted to do a blood transfusion because my counts seemed to be a bit low. After giving me the blood transfusion, there was a huge difference in the way I felt, and apparently all the color returned to my cheeks. I was out of the woods. The ER doctor prescribed me some Ativan for anxiety and although I've had it before and decided to stop taking it because it was highly addictive, I decided to return to the prescription because I know it will help me with anxiety. The ER doctor assured me that although it's addictive, I didn't need to worry about becoming dependent on something like this, that it wasn't a street drug and I didn't need to be concerned. So I agreed and took the prescription home with me.

Today I was scheduled for an MRI for my right humerus and I was petrified because of the obvious claustrophobia that I suffer from. Monica and Jordan took me down there and although I should start to trust Sutter and RAS by now, I still hadn't had an MRI since Kaiser and those are absolutely the worst scans! However, they did an open-MRI and it wasn't even bad at all. My other concern was that they would have to position my arm in a way that would really hurt, but again, they didn't, and everything was okay. I also prayed that my mom and Lucy (Luanne's mom) would be there and support me throughout this difficult time and I know they were. I was completely at peace and knew that it was with their love and support that I made it through :) Thanks Mom and Lucy, I love you both.

Peace to you all ~ Love, Genie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Willow Rock Way,Sacramento,United States

This Past Week...

So I've been taking Morphine every 2 hours for the past week, dealing with what I think is a broken arm. I've been sleeping in the recliner out in the living room, and tripping out thanks to the Morphine. What I mean is that I've been saying random things and nodding off mid-sentence sometimes, which is quite amusing to Johnny & Jordan. I finally heard back from Dr. Rohatgi and he said that there didn't seem to be a fracture, however, they're still going to have a specialist look over my x-ray and make the final decision. I personally know what I heard and felt, and know that there's something serious going on in my arm. I found it unusual that I had to wait so long to hear back and that it was very unlike Sutter, however, I came to the conclusion that they obviously didn't want to contact me until they knew what was going on.

Yesterday, after sticking my tongue out at Johnny for some unknown reason, he almost freaked out and asked me what the heck was wrong with my tongue! After checking in the mirror and emailing Luanne a picture, she thought it was probably Thrush and told me to go to the doctor. I looked up Thrush and although it's mostly found in infants and seniors, it is also found in people with compromised immune systems (and that would be me). Sure enough, after dropping in to see Dr. Rohatgi today, he confirmed that it was indeed Thrush and gave me a prescription. So yay, just another "thing" to deal with. While I was in seeing him, he checked on my arm again and was curious as to why it was hurting more now than when we first started radiation, and since he didn't think it was broken, ordered an MRI to finally figure out what was going on. I made sure to reiterate how extremely claustrophobic I am and that I wanted an open MRI, which didn't seem to be an issue at all. Unlike Kaiser who made me try the regular scan 3 times and completely flip out before finally ordering an open scan. Just another "I love Sutter" moment.

I also want to mention that last weekend Luanne and Janice (a special high school friend) came to visit me and we had a nice long talk, then went to lunch. I hated to see them leave, it's never a long enough visit :( Then, a couple hours later, Tim, Melynda, and their kids came and took Jordan and I to see Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey's Circus which was in town. This was on my "Bucket List" and they'd been wanting to do something special for me off of that list. I remember going many years as a child and couldn't wait to recapture those memories. It was awesome! Johnny was working and John chose to spend time alone watching sports :) so we were all happy in our own little way.

And finally, I want to thank Monica, Melynda, Roberta, Kim, Sonia, and John for stepping up and helping me to all of my radiation appointments over the past couple weeks. It hasn't been easy asking for help with everything from getting dressed to driving and I really appreciate everyone's assistance. I also thank you all for dropping everything you've had going on in your own busy lives to help me, that was very sweet.

Peace to you all ~ Love, Genie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Willow Rock Way,Sacramento,United States

Pop!...

Everything was going along as usual when all of a sudden Thursday morning at 4:30 I rolled over in bed and heard a loud pop! I sat straight up in bed in a cold sweat, yelling out to John, "Oh my God, I think I just broke my arm!" It took us a few minutes to get our wits together and we were headed out the door to the Emergency Room...again. Naturally I had the Fentanyl patch on, plus just took some Morphine, then they gave me Dilaudid, and I still winced in pain at the thought of moving my arm. They had to obviously take some x-rays, and I was scared to death at the thought, but we somehow managed to get through it. After a couple hours we got the x-ray back and sure enough there was a hairline fracture. However, because there's so much going on in my humerus, it was really hard to read and the ER doctor still wanted to get an orthopedic surgeon's opinion as to whether or not I needed surgery to put it back together. They discharged me knowing that I had to be back for radiation within a couple hours. I still wasn't sure at this point if I would actually be having treatment or not. I arrived back at my scheduled time and Dr. Pu was apparently seeking more advice as to how to proceed with my situation, and ultimately (after an hour of waiting), decided to give me the day off. I got a phone call in the afternoon saying that after speaking with some specialist, they decided to continue with my radiation treatment the following day since I only had one left for my arm. I still have three more treatments scheduled for my hip. Anyway, after sleeping upright in the recliner all night long, I somehow got through the night. The ER doctor had suggested staying on top of the pain meds and said that I should take it every 2 hours, so that added to the lack of sleep since I was constantly being woken up by my alarm. Fun stuff :) The radiation treatment wasn't too difficult, they only had to maneuver my arm a little bit in order to line up the markers. When I got home I emailed Dr. Rohatgi because it dawned on me that I didn't know what the plan was from here on out. Were they going to do surgery after all? Are they going to cast it? Or am I just going to walk around with a broken arm in a sling until it heals? Well, apparently he had already left for the day because I didn't hear back and now it's the weekend. So as long as nobody comes within ten feet of my arm and I have plenty of Morphine, I'll be hanging out waiting to hear back on Monday. Yippee!

Peace to you all ~ Love, Genie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Willow Rock Way,Sacramento,United States

Not Such a Bad Day...

Today I had an okay day. Although I had radiation in the morning and a doctor's appointment in the afternoon, it still wasn't that bad. The afternoon appointment was with Dr. Owens who is a surgeon and was following up on the progress of my tumor. The last time I saw him (about three months ago), all he saw was scar tissue where my tumor used to be and today was the same. The only difference was that one of my lymph nodes was enlarged in my armpit. We're going to keep an eye on that because that could take off and cause more problems. However, he really didn't seem that concerned and told me not to worry. Overall I've felt better today than the past several days. My arm was so bad that I really couldn't type and that is why I haven't blogged. So to those who say I don't blog enough, Kimmy, back off...LOL! I know you mean well, but my arm was really bad. Today I haven't even had any Morphine and that's how I always gauge whether or not I'm having a good day, as to how much pain meds I've needed. Tomorrow I go see my Radiation Oncologist after my treatment and I sure hope I haven't lost more weight this week or I'm in trouble. I've been trying really hard to eat more (especially protein), but sometimes it's hard to get anything down. I did have one of those Ensure drinks, but unless you get used to the taste, it's kinda yucky. I'm going to have to try harder and maybe mix in some fruit or something to get it down. I know, I know, it's good for me so I'm going to have to work something out.

Today I have HOPE in my doctors and nurses, and in the science behind finding a cure for this nasty disease. I have HOPE every time I wake up in the morning and realize that God has allowed me one more day with my loved ones. I will never give up my HOPES and dreams. May God bless you all.

Peace to you all ~ Love, Genie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Willow Rock Way,Sacramento,United States

I Knew It...

Once a week after radiation I have to meet with my Radiation Oncologist (Dr. Pu) and go over my treatment plan and see how everything is going. Well, right before doing so, I check in with the nurse and she weighs me and asks a few questions. This time she was amazed at how quickly I was back after just having had radiation at the end of June for my left shoulder, and I explained that I may be back again for my right hip soon. Of course she made a note of that and started to weigh me, where she stopped for a moment and asked me why I was experiencing such rapid weight loss, and looking at the scale I realized that I was down another 3 lbs this past week, equalling 8 lbs in just a little over a week and a half. I've lost a total of 59 lbs since I was diagnosed, so it's just been recently that it's starting to get concerning. She then went on to tell me that I need to eat more and that I'm not getting enough protein in my diet, that if I kept losing weight, that I would start to lose muscle instead of fat and that was scary. I barely have energy and strength to get up out of a sitting position, so I can't lose any more muscle! She left the room at that point and returned with a huge bag of Ensure nutritional supplements and other stuff for me to drink, I hope it helps. After that, Dr. Pu came in to see how I was doing and said that he heard from the nurse about my hip and so he ordered me an x-ray immediately to see what was happening, and although I just had a bone scan just a couple weeks ago, things change that fast when it has to do with cancer growing or "flaring up".

When I came in today they already had the x-ray results and wanted me to undergo radiation in my hip as well, starting tomorrow. I'm thrilled. One reason is because they're doing the treatments back-to-back each day instead of waiting for my entire schedule to be done on 9/15 and starting on my hip for another two weeks. That would be awful because the entire time I'm in radiation I have to hold off on my chemotherapy, which scares the he'll out of me because of how fast it grows. The other reason I'm happy that we're starting tomorrow, is because the faster we start, the faster I'll be out of pain (or at least some of the pain) and that thrills me!

Oh, and Teresa my Weight Watcher Leader (but mostly my great friend), do you have any suggestions for me to stop losing weight or help me to incorporate more protein in my diet? Maybe you could speak w/John if he happens to come to one of your meetings soon. Anyway, any help would be appreciated, thank you Teresa <3

Peace to you all ~ Love, Genie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Willow Rock Way,Sacramento,United States

Happy Anniversary John...

On this date 19 years ago I married the love of my life, and became Mrs. John Charles Mark. It started off the night before when I slept over at Luanne's house and we were playing jacks on the floor of her kitchen. I'm sure alcoholic beverages were involved at some point :) We finally managed to get some sleep (after the talking & giggling of course), but it wasn't a real good night's sleep, if you could imagine. The next morning I awoke to the smell of Egg's Benedict which Lucy (Luanne's mom) was making for us in the kitchen along with mimosas! Yummy! Shortly afterwards I ran around town looking for just the right sexy undergarments to wear. There's nothing like waiting until the very last minute! I ended up having to borrow a beautiful bustier from Jennifer (Luanne's sister-in-law) for under my dress. Believe me, it was definitely sexy and did the job. After that, I was off to the salon for makeup. I hired a professional makeup artist who apparently worked on several celebrities over the years, so I knew I was in good hands. As soon as she finished we raced home for Chris Bradley to do my hair for the big day. Chris had always cut my hair at that point, but didn't feel comfortable doing it for my wedding for some reason. I begged him and he finally said that he would. It was the afternoon at this point and the wedding started at 5:00, so I was starting to panic. Once my hair was done, the photographer showed up to get some pre-wedding shots, but he didn't look anything like who John had described. He then goes on to explain that he wasn't the photographer that John had hired because apparently our guy had to have an emergency root canal and couldn't make it. Had we known at this point that he would have ruined half of our pictures, been rude to the children, and skipped town before we could purchase our video and get our order complete, we would have somehow had somebody else step in for our big day. The limo showed up and drove us to The Hikoni Japanese Gardens in Saratoga where we had my cousin Harold marry us outdoors in front of all of our family and friends. What a wonderful day. It was beautiful outside and I was marrying the sweetest, most loving man in the world. How could I possibly ask for more? Well I am. I'm hoping for one more year with this amazing man, for then we will have made it to the 20 year mark. I know our love story is unfortunately going to be cut short, but what's one more year I ask? It's everything.

I ask that you please pray for me to hang in there at least one more year, if anything, to be with my sweetheart. Thank you.

Peace to you all ~ Love, Genie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Willow Rock Way,Sacramento,United States

2011 Cather's Family Reunion...

To continue from my last entry, I did start radiation on my right arm, and now I've completed 2 of 10 treatments so far. When I first met with Dr. Pu for my consultation he showed me the x-ray of my arm and said that he'd just gotten off the phone with the surgeon to see if they should put a titanium rod in my arm prior to the radiation or not! The surgeon didn't think surgery was necessary (yet) and we continued on with my treatment plan. Unfortunately, I just started experiencing a lot of pain in my right hip again, and so (mark my words) I will probably be back for more radiation on that pretty soon as well :( As for the Morphine, I don't think it's doing much more than the Percocet ever did, but since it's so nasty tasting, I take less and put up with the pain for as long as I can tolerate it. I can hear Luanne scolding me right now!

Yesterday was our 2011 Family Reunion at my brother Tim and sister-in-law Melynda's house. What an awesome day! First of all, I only slept two hours the night before, so I was pretty worried that I wouldn't be able to make it through the day, but I was willing to give it a try. Not only was family there, but also some friends that we've known ever since we were kids. One set of friends (Lex & Ann) came from the bay area, and the other set of friends (Uncle Frank & Aunt Phyllis) came all the way from Oregon with their son Anthony & his wife Tamra. My parents were friends with Frank & Phyllis before they were even married! Although they're really not related to us, we've always treated them like they were. My favorite part of the reunion yesterday was when my Dad saw all of our family friends for the first time. The look on his face was so classic, he was definitely happier than he's been in a long time, and very surprised. Unfortunately, John had to work and didn't arrive until later on in the evening, but at least he got there. I don't know how I managed to make it through that long day, but I'm sure it was the love of my family and friends, and also the pure adrenaline of it all. We sat and talked, laughed, ate, swam, you name it, we had a great time. We did miss my nephew Josh (who had to work), my cousins Harold, Linda, and Jim along with their families. Hopefully they'll all be able to make it for the 2012 reunion!

Peace to you all ~ Love, Genie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Willow Rock Way,Sacramento,United States