I haven't blogged in awhile and I apologize, it's kind of rude of me to bring you all into my life and then shut the door occasionally. There's nothing in particular going on and there's no need to worry about me, I've just been going through life. Actually, it's coming up on a year in a few weeks that I discovered the lump in my breast and that's sort of been weighing on my mind. What if I had caught it sooner? Would it have metastasized? Would I be sitting here cancer free as a result of catching it early? It's been a long year and are we much closer to killing this cancer? One side of me wants to say no, that we have a LONG ways to go, but the other side says that we've killed some already and these things take time. I know things aren't going to work in my time, but rather in God's time, so I need to relax. It's so easy to say these things, but sometimes it's actually hard to sit back and trust that we're on the right path. I do believe, and I pray all the time, but honestly, it's hard when you don't know what's going on inside of you. I have another scan coming in October/November sometime, but I wish I could monitor it much more frequently. Like a portable x-ray machine. That would be cool. I would probably use it everyday to see how things were coming along. So in the meantime, I've got to be patient, and that's VERY hard for me to do. If you know me...that's almost impossible :(
Thanks for checking in on me. Today I want to spread LOVE and JOY, so kisses for everyone ♥ (*SMOOCH*) xoxo
Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie
Friday, August 27, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
We're shrinking...
Weighed in this morning and lost another 3.6 pounds, bringing me to a total of 16.8 so far :) Although it's going very, very slow, I'm still really stoked that instead of gaining weight through chemotherapy (like most people do), I'm losing weight. Yahoo!! I can't exercise at all, so this really thrills me :) Every once in awhile I'll walk around the block with John and Jordan, but it's not quite enough to call exercise. At least it's something. And Teresa Rose would say as long as I'm "moving more, and eating less", I'm on the right track.
Okay, now that I'm done tooting my own horn, I'll brag about my husband who lost 8.8 this past week!!!! I'm very proud of John for trying, whenever he does, it's VERY evident in the numbers. Good job sweetheart :) I'm not sure about his running total, but I think he started all over again this past week.
And as far as an update on Johnny, apparently I was wrong...he actually had a dislocated shoulder and not a separated one. He is on the mend, wearing his brace and doing well. He will start his physical therapy soon and has hardly needed any pain meds.
Life is good and I want to stick around for more of it :)
Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie
Okay, now that I'm done tooting my own horn, I'll brag about my husband who lost 8.8 this past week!!!! I'm very proud of John for trying, whenever he does, it's VERY evident in the numbers. Good job sweetheart :) I'm not sure about his running total, but I think he started all over again this past week.
And as far as an update on Johnny, apparently I was wrong...he actually had a dislocated shoulder and not a separated one. He is on the mend, wearing his brace and doing well. He will start his physical therapy soon and has hardly needed any pain meds.
Life is good and I want to stick around for more of it :)
Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie
Friday, August 13, 2010
My son...
Yesterday morning Johnny was scheduled for his Senior Portraits and I wasn't going to go (because I wasn't feeling terrific), but I decided that this was an important day which may require a mother's assistance, so I did. Wow, what a handsome young man he has turned out to be. It was neat watching him with the photographer because although he can't stand a lot of attention and surely doesn't like to have a bunch of pictures taken, he was very mature and just a great kid.
Johnny proceeded to go to football practice and a couple hours in, we got a phone call at home from the coach..., "it appears that your son may have separated his shoulder" was all that I heard. We jumped in the car and rushed down to the school. I've never seen Johnny in so much pain and it hurt me to the core to hear him wince in pain as we hurried to the hospital. One look at him and they rushed him in. I automatically took control and went with him, not even discussing with John as to which parent should accompany him during this stressful situation. Looking back now, I feel bad, but it sure made me feel whole again as I was there for my son during his time of need. We sat in the emergency room for 3 1/2 hours, but it was well worth it. They shot him up with lots of morphine and after x-rays to see that he hadn't broken anything, they started the procedure of placing his shoulder back in the socket. They had him lay on his stomach (which was VERY painful) but as soon as he did, his arm swung right back into place on it's own! The doctor was delighted that he didn't have to cause more pain to him, and Johnny was thrilled that it was all over. He said that he felt relief immediately and that his pain level went from off the charts to a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10. We brought him home (still doped up on morphine) and put him to bed :) He's got an Orthopedic appointment this morning and hopefully he won't be out of football the entire season.
Today I am THANKFUL that I was there for my son when he needed his mom the most ♥
Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie
Johnny proceeded to go to football practice and a couple hours in, we got a phone call at home from the coach..., "it appears that your son may have separated his shoulder" was all that I heard. We jumped in the car and rushed down to the school. I've never seen Johnny in so much pain and it hurt me to the core to hear him wince in pain as we hurried to the hospital. One look at him and they rushed him in. I automatically took control and went with him, not even discussing with John as to which parent should accompany him during this stressful situation. Looking back now, I feel bad, but it sure made me feel whole again as I was there for my son during his time of need. We sat in the emergency room for 3 1/2 hours, but it was well worth it. They shot him up with lots of morphine and after x-rays to see that he hadn't broken anything, they started the procedure of placing his shoulder back in the socket. They had him lay on his stomach (which was VERY painful) but as soon as he did, his arm swung right back into place on it's own! The doctor was delighted that he didn't have to cause more pain to him, and Johnny was thrilled that it was all over. He said that he felt relief immediately and that his pain level went from off the charts to a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10. We brought him home (still doped up on morphine) and put him to bed :) He's got an Orthopedic appointment this morning and hopefully he won't be out of football the entire season.
Today I am THANKFUL that I was there for my son when he needed his mom the most ♥
Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie
Friday, August 6, 2010
Updates...
Yesterday I had an appointment with Dr. Hui and she said that the Tumor Board was divided. They ultimately went with what Dr. Bodai recommended, which was to wait for surgery, that my treatment was coming along just fine. She also informed me that she learned from the Radiologists who were there, that the chemotherapy was working better for me than we realized, that I was reacting to it really well! We were very pleased with that. I will have my next scans in either October or November.
Last week I went to see Dr. Gaggero (who we've seen in the past for Jordan's ingrown toenail) and he removed my big toenail on my left foot. He also advised me to pick up some ointment that would thin my nails out because another side effect of chemo is thickening of the nails. Once I thin the nails out a bit, they'll look semi-normal again. With a little nail polish, nobody will be able to tell that I have a lot going on with my feet :)
Today was my chemo #28, the beginning of my 10th cycle :) Whew, time sure flies when you're having fun!! Monica came along with me and Sonia came to visit too. I swear, the nurses target Monica every time! This time they didn't want her to sit in her fold-out chair, claimed it was too big and might be in the way. Said that if she used a chair like that, everyone would want to bring their own chairs! It made me sad that they seem to pick on Monica, she's one of the sweetest people I know. She's brought a fold-out chair to 99% of my visits! I just don't understand. We still managed to have fun and enjoy our visit, but sometimes the nurses get very nit-picky. After chemo we went to visit my Dad who was in the West Building. My Dad is having difficulty with his colon at the moment and may be having surgery within the next couple days depending upon the tests that they're running. It was good to see him and also my brother Jeff who was in town for a short visit. I sure wish they both lived closer!!
Today is all about FAMILY! Don't hold grudges, life is too short. Pick up the phone and be the bigger person. You only live once, and in the end, it doesn't really matter. Live, love, laugh, that's what it's all about.
Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie
Last week I went to see Dr. Gaggero (who we've seen in the past for Jordan's ingrown toenail) and he removed my big toenail on my left foot. He also advised me to pick up some ointment that would thin my nails out because another side effect of chemo is thickening of the nails. Once I thin the nails out a bit, they'll look semi-normal again. With a little nail polish, nobody will be able to tell that I have a lot going on with my feet :)
Today was my chemo #28, the beginning of my 10th cycle :) Whew, time sure flies when you're having fun!! Monica came along with me and Sonia came to visit too. I swear, the nurses target Monica every time! This time they didn't want her to sit in her fold-out chair, claimed it was too big and might be in the way. Said that if she used a chair like that, everyone would want to bring their own chairs! It made me sad that they seem to pick on Monica, she's one of the sweetest people I know. She's brought a fold-out chair to 99% of my visits! I just don't understand. We still managed to have fun and enjoy our visit, but sometimes the nurses get very nit-picky. After chemo we went to visit my Dad who was in the West Building. My Dad is having difficulty with his colon at the moment and may be having surgery within the next couple days depending upon the tests that they're running. It was good to see him and also my brother Jeff who was in town for a short visit. I sure wish they both lived closer!!
Today is all about FAMILY! Don't hold grudges, life is too short. Pick up the phone and be the bigger person. You only live once, and in the end, it doesn't really matter. Live, love, laugh, that's what it's all about.
Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Funk...
I've been in a funk lately and I guess it's normal considering what I'm going through. I try to get up every morning and put on a happy face, ready to conquer the day, but some days are more difficult than others. Also, the loss of my mother-in-law is huge in my household, making for a lot of frowny faces :( Although it's been almost two weeks now, it's still very fresh.
My back has been aching more so lately than ever before. I've had to increase my pain meds, which kind of scares me a little bit. I relate pain meds to cancer, so whenever I have to take more, I naturally assume the cancer is growing in my back. I sure hope not. I should hear back any day now regarding whether or not I'm having surgery. My feelings are mixed, I don't know which way I'm leaning towards. Surgery? Or no surgery?
Today I wish I could take away the hurt that John is feeling. He misses his mom so much, I can see the pain written all over his face. It's not normal to see my husband so sad and I wish I could take it all away. I love you John and if you can keep your mind and your heart open to anything, maybe your mom will come visit you someday. All you have to do is BELIEVE.
Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie
My back has been aching more so lately than ever before. I've had to increase my pain meds, which kind of scares me a little bit. I relate pain meds to cancer, so whenever I have to take more, I naturally assume the cancer is growing in my back. I sure hope not. I should hear back any day now regarding whether or not I'm having surgery. My feelings are mixed, I don't know which way I'm leaning towards. Surgery? Or no surgery?
Today I wish I could take away the hurt that John is feeling. He misses his mom so much, I can see the pain written all over his face. It's not normal to see my husband so sad and I wish I could take it all away. I love you John and if you can keep your mind and your heart open to anything, maybe your mom will come visit you someday. All you have to do is BELIEVE.
Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie
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