Pauline...

There's many jokes about mother-in-laws out there, but mine was never one to joke about. Mine was one of a kind. My mother-in-law, Pauline Clark-Stephanski, lost her battle with lung disease and passed away this past Friday, July 23, 2010 at 9:40 a.m. She was truly a gem.

I met Pauline when I first started dating John, back in 1990 and I'll never forget how excited John was to introduce me to her. He will always be his momma's boy :) We drove all the way to Clearlake in his little 1974 Mercury Capri with his golden retriever, PJ, in the backseat. It was raining like crazy and it was my job to bring lots of paper towels to plug the holes where the windshield and door came together because otherwise it would rain down on me! We drove all the way to Clearlake and drove up to this cute little two-story house that had a separate entrance with the words "Inn Oz" over the door. John proceeded to tell me a beautiful story about two people who fell in love many years earlier, where the man (Charley) asked the woman (Pauline) if she would come with him to the Emerald City (San Francisco) on a date, and that is how it all began. From that point on, she was known as Dorothy and he was The Tin Man and they owned a cute little bed and breakfast called Inn Oz. They welcomed me with open arms. I never knew love like that before. No questions asked, just a loving family ready to welcome me into it.

Fast forward to 2009 when I was diagnosed, Pauline asked me if she could step in as a substitute for my mother since I'd lost her 8 years earlier and I never felt so honored. Pauline was incredible. Some of the things that she did amazed me. She would sit at the computer and research things and told me about some of the programs and opportunities available with breast cancer research that I'd not even heard about yet, but sure enough a few weeks later, I would catch myself saying, "oh yeah, my mother-in-law just told me about that!" She was one in a million and she'll be missed by so many.

May you rest in peace Pauline, I truly loved you like a mother.

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie

Well Wishes...

Although I only got three hours of sleep last night thanks to Decadron that I receive as one of my pre-meds for chemo, I'm still going to try and have a fun day at the fair with family and friends. John's friends (Don/Kris & Dave/Brenda, along with their children) came from as far away as Salinas to spend the day with us at the California State Fair. We warned them that it's going to be somewhere between 102-104 according to the latest forecast, but with the asphalt at Cal Expo, it always raises it a couple degrees :( I agreed to go to the fair and walk as far as I possibly could without the need of a wheelchair, but I'm just going to have to put my pride aside and cave in when it gets to be unbearable. Believe me, I tossed the whole idea of going to the fair around in my head all night long, but eventually decided that I want to be a part of this family as much as possible and I can always take a long nap later this afternoon :)

John's mom, Pauline, is still in the hospital suffering from lung disease. We would appreciate it if you would send your prayers along to her and Charley (who is patiently awaiting for her to get better at home, while he recuperates himself from shoulder surgery). If you know Pauline, she's the most wonderful mother-in-law a girl could ever have and she's one tough cookie at the same time. Even if you don't know her, you'd love her. So please take a moment and send positive thoughts in her direction as she battles another tough round. We love you Pauline!!

Today I wish for cool temperatures & healthy thoughts for Pauline!!

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie

Low and Outside...

What a fun night it was Saturday night. I wasn't that nervous (believe it or not) once I decided that "it is what it is" and that it's not something to get all worked up about. So I didn't. We met at Raley Field about 5:30 and I was given my t-shirt to go put on, but along the way I was told that Sonia wanted me to meet somebody. Even when she's not around (because she was in San Diego at her daughter's synchronized swimming meet), she's still in charge! I laughed and followed the lady from Susan G. Komen to meet Ann who also has Metastatic Breast Cancer and was diagnosed 7 years ago! I was thrilled to meet her, she's a fantastic lady and we talked for nearly 20 minutes before I realized that I'd better hurry and get changed in time! After changing into my t-shirt I met up with her again and we promised to keep in touch via email. It's nice to find somebody who has something in common with you. A few minutes later they walked all of the survivors down a ramp which led to the field and we waited there for awhile until they were ready for us. Once it was time, all the other survivors took the field and lined up around home plate while Carly and I walked out to the mound. I was first and I took a couple steps towards the catcher while they were introducing me and then as the announcer was saying, "Okay Genie, give it a whirl", I threw out the first pitch. I would say it ended up being a ball, low and outside, but at least I got it to the catcher :) I actually did much better than I was expecting to. Thank you to Johnny (my son), Ryan, John, Anthony and Johnny (Sonia's husband) for taking the time to practice with me ahead of time. I'm sure I did much better than I would have done without your help, so thanks again.

What I loved about the night most, was that a majority of my family was there! Here's a shout out to John, Johnny, Jordan, Marcy, Bob, Erin, Ryan, Jeff, Josh, Frank, Monica, Frankie, Zach, Miles, Tim, Melynda, Tyler, Nick, and Hannah. I wish the rest of my family could have been there also, but thank you guys for your support ♥

Although I'm tired from chemo, today is a GOOD day and I'm so happy to be here. Thank you Lord for another day :)

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie

Tonight's the Night...

It's a beautiful morning here in Sacramento and all I can do other than think about tonight, is to listen to the pretty sounds of the birds chirping outside the window. I know that throwing out the first pitch tonight is a big deal, however, it's not the end of the world. I've practiced and I plan to practice some more tonight, but in the big scheme of things, I'm not a professional ball player and it is what it is. Sure it would be awesome to go out there and throw it right to the catcher and make my family proud, but in actuality, it may not happen that way. I played ball in high school, but it's been MANY years and I haven't even pretended to play since then. So what I'm trying to say is...I'm going to do my best tonight.

Johnny & Jordan have been staying with family in San Jose for the past five days and I'm so excited that they're coming home today! Every once in awhile I picture what it would be like to have the house to myself...well, it's been lonely. I don't get an opportunity like this very often, but I really didn't do much once I was alone. Instead, I missed them like crazy! Marcy (my sister-in-law) has been warning me that they're going to be experiencing the same thing when Ryan leaves for college this summer and it sure is going to be strange. Except it won't be for just five days :( Marcy and Bob, what will you do with no kids in the house? We may have to come visit more often to keep you company.

By my next post, I will have already thrown out the first pitch at the River Cat's game and I can tell you all about it :)

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie

Practice, practice, practice...

Today's chemotherapy is at 9:00, but Sonia is really concerned that I get my pitching practice in before Saturday, so she's asked me to come over on the way to Kaiser...at 8:15! She says either her son Anthony or her husband will have to get up and help me practice. I feel awful and told her that they didn't have to get up so early in order to help me, that we could work it out some other time, but she insisted. Gulp...I'd better not knock out any windows this morning!!

I'd like to take a moment and send well wishes to both John's mom, Pauline (who is sick in the hospital) and his step-dad, Charley (who is recovering from shoulder surgery). They're two wonderful people who are ALWAYS there whenever we need them and I hope they both get better soon. We love you guys!!

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie

Butterflies in my stomach...

So I'm getting a little bit nervous about Saturday, maybe because I talked about it a lot today. I googled it, and the mound is 60 feet, 6 inches from the plate. Can I throw it that far? Probably not. I've gone out and practiced throwing with Johnny, but I still need lots more practice. So exactly why did I say yes to throwing out the first pitch at the River Cat's game? Heck if I know!! Okay Genie...just breathe.


Lately I've been told more so than usual that my attitude is incredible, that I am such a positive person. Whenever somebody tells me that I think back to the day I was diagnosed...dooms day. I remember calling my brother Tim and he said, "Genie, keep your chin up. Remember to believe in the power of positive thinking, you'd be amazed." And here I am, 9 months after my diagnosis and still going strong. With the recent news that my tumor has shrunk, that there's no more cancer in my liver and that they're considering surgery, I have to attribute some of that to my attitude. I really do. Of course God has the final say, but had I been negative from the start, I think we might be fighting a whole different monster. I recently spoke w/one of the Oncology nurses and she said that all the "long-term patients" have great attitudes, and that I was a definite member of that club :) I was happy to hear that.


I want to shout out to my brother Tim & sister-in-law Melynda who sat down and read my entire blog today :) Wow Melynda, really? All 82 posts? That's crazy, but thank you for your support. I love you guys. I was thrilled to hear that you'll be there on Saturday.

Today I gain STRENGTH from the love of family and friends. I even gain STRENGTH from strangers I meet along the way. Thank you for keeping me strong.

Peace to you all ♥ Love, Genie